Friday, 27 August 2010

When a targeted marketing campaign fails!

Dear Asda,
Many thanks for your recent mail and my special birthday offer. However, on this occasion I think I will give it a miss.
You see, as lovely as "Doris" is (and lets face it, she's the one with the modelling career - not me!), I am struggling to identify with her and her desire for a lovely funeral plan. In my head, I am still believing that I could "pull" Enrique Iglesias. I still feel like a teenage girl, and you are wanting me to grow up far too quickly.

Yours,
Mrs Heartshaped
PS Could you also tell those lovely people who keep sending me brochures for cruises that my idea of a great holiday is living in the same pair of denim shorts for 2 weeks in a field.

17 comments:

Green thumb said...

Oh dear! That's really a said thing to receive!
xxxx

Green thumb said...

sad

Jill said...

You tell em lady.

Of course you could pull Enrique.

Jill x

PS - sorry for being a bad influence regarding the loveliness that is Amy Butler :0)

Poppy Cottage said...

I love it. I hope you get a reply!!!!!!!!

Ha Ha!!

Scented Sweetpeas said...

You should return to sender with your above sentiments on the front :-)

Rowan said...

I've had these sort of targeted adverts too - from insurance companies in my case - and like you I don't think of myself as old so I actually find them very offensive! I especially dislike the idea that companies are looking up my date of birth in order to send these things!
I'm afraid that targetted advertising and cold callers are two of the things that really irritate me - and that is putting it pretty mildly! I think your reaction was both amusing and very rfestrained:)

Rosie said...

Oh, dear, know what you mean - the day after I hit 50 I started receiving insurance things from Saga and Rias - dread to think what I'll get after tomorrow!!! I've already had something about 'green' burials - on a brighter note I had a birthday card and a £5 gift voucher from Matalan. Love your reaction to the letter:)

Juanita Tortilla said...

You crack me up, Diane!!!

Caroline said...

I bet you can pull Enrique, it is all about personality, and a brilliant quiche as well, obviously.
Your last two posts made me giggle, the posts about France I loved. You are always good at cheering me up!
So, good luck with Enrique, or any of the other lovelies that spring to mind...

Ray+Joan said...

I love it,& I don.t think you are really for it yet Diane you still have lots more places to see
A. Joan x

Ticking stripes said...

I've had them for a Stannah stair lift, Damart underwear and something which would hold my dentures in if I had them (forgotten the name - maybe they are right on target)but I strongly resent the implications too! Last week I bought green nail varnish and have just been admiring some very frilly knickers - totally not for ladies of a certain age. Have they not realised that that age is now considerably older than 50!!! Sorry this puts me on my soap box!! Now where did I put my glasses...

Young at Heart said...

aaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!! OH MY GAWD..........so far all I've had is the letter from my GP telling me now I only need a smear test every 5 years .......proving I really am an old c***!!

Deb said...

I started getting mail from AARP (American Association for Retired People), i.e., OldFarts, when I was 50...ten years later they still hound me. It would be cheaper for them to just give me a membership and save the cost of all the printing and mailing!

I get the cruise mail, too, although we have taken a few cruises. The last one, however, was really terrible, and I gave a terrible passenger response survey. They ignored my survey, and keep sending me coupons for cruise discounts!

Kathy said...

My 18 year old son got a letter today ....for a health check up to prepare him for retirement. He was baffled!
I don't even open these letters.. they go straight in the bin. You're right, they are offensive!
Love Kathy xxx

Lazylol said...

How cheerful of them!

Cheeky *******!

Lyn said...

Giggle!
sorry but you will have to get in line behind me for Enrique!
love
Lyn
xxx

LOVE STITCHING RED said...

Glad you're not after my Johhny then, LOL :o)