Tuesday, 21 September 2010

Leaving

At times in this house, hormones caused by the menopausal mum/teenage daughter combo erupt in massive door slamming, screaming explosions which neither hubby or the young man can handle. Last week was a nightmare, but I think it was less about the hormones, and more about her leaving to go to university. Whilst she was very excited, she was also a bit scared, and upset as the boyfriend will be in a different city - not too far away, but far enough - whilst I was just getting stressed about her "preparations" (posters, photos of pals and a bottle of Malibu are VITAL, whereas food/bed linen etc not so!)



So hubby, her and I trundled off with a very loaded car yesterday morning to deposit her at her halls of residence/prison cell/skunk pit and proceeded to make her room look as homely as possible. We made sure that she had a good meal, and then left her to mix with the others. She will be coming home on weekends as she is keeping her job until she finds another - so I get eased in gently - but although I won't miss stuff disappearing from my room into hers, arguing about the state of her room(which now looks immaculate)and her "Don't talk to me, I don't do conversations at XXXXX time of day" (substitute XXXXX for whatever time of day it is!!), I will miss her laptop, hair straighteners, and her laughter.

Whilst I still have the young man at home to "smother", he needs me less and less (just at feeding times actually!), I realise that I am moving into another "phase " of my life. It feels very strange. And yes, hubby and I did blub in the car on the way home - right after I said that I thought we had held it together very well!!

21 comments:

Lisa said...

Oh my, what a momentous day it was for you all. I hope DQ settles in well and I hope and Mr H are ok too. Like you say another life phase. Exciting and daunting. For all.
Lisa x

Jill said...

I'm putting on my sad face - exciting times ahead for your daughter, but I'm feeling your heartache at her moving away from the Homestead. I can imagine it's very hard (trying) to let go.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx (and lots of hugs). x

topchelseagirl said...

I'm sure she'll be fine. Must take some getting used to for you though. x

Tabiboo said...

You are brave - I think I would of blub on the way there and on the way back too.

Much love,

Nina xxx

Ticking stripes said...

Gosh I'm just a year behind and wondering how I'll be without mine! Well done you for holding it together until you left. I'm crying just reading your post!

The Girl said...

Oh my. Well done you guys. Huge step for you all. If she was anything like me, she'll have had a good old cry on her first night like I did - even though I was desperate to get away from Hull and be on my own!!

Nearly 50 and trying to be Frugal .... said...

I went through the same thing at the begining of September but with my son. He is now settled, started his courses and sports and he even went to a dancing class tonight with his girlfriend! But he won't be home until Christmas, they do not have a holiday in October!! I seem to have accepted it and now we have moved into the next phase of our life. My other son, who is 16 seems to be missing him quite a lot, even though they fought all the time when they were together.
Good luck for the next few weeks. Let us know how you are getting on
Sue

Em said...

Oh dear I know exactly what you mean, My eldest daughter is about to go back to uni for her 3rd year and `I always hate saying goodbye to her.
When she first left for her first year I remember her calling me the day after we'd dropped her off and crying about how homesick she was...but she went out that night with other girls in her flat and has had a great time ever since, I bet your daughter will be having the time of her life in no time at all!
But *big hugs* to you because its hard saying goodbye isn't it.
Em xxxx

Kathy said...

Oh I remember it well ... my daughter was so awful and obnoxious the day we took her up to uni 5 years ago, we were almost glad to see the back of her!!!!
It takes a while for both parties to settle into your new lives, but you do move on and it gets easier.
My lovely girl never came back to live with us, as she got a job away from home straight after graduation. I still find it hard saying goodbye each time she goes back ... but I know we have the best of relationships now ... if she was at home we would argue, but this way we have a wonderful time together when she comes to visit!
Big hugs tonight ... love Kathy xxx

Poppy Cottage said...

Oh Diane, it'll be OK.

Least you have the weekend to look forward to, and I'm sure her washing, and you cupboards will be raided to sustain the week ahead.xx

Twiggy said...

Well done for being so brave, I would have blubbed all way there and back. In fact I blubbed a bit when Twiglet left Reception for Year 1 a few weeks ago - I did wait until I got home though - didn't want to ruin his big boy street cred :)
Twiggy x

Cybèle said...

sounding so familiar - my partner took his 19 year old daughter to Nottingham on Sunday. He's feeling a bit more settled now, but he was suffering a severe bout of 'separation anxiety' as he called it! I've got another 7 years to go before my eldest is off, thank goodness... and she is talking about doing a year in Holland - eek!

Deb said...

Oh, my goodness, you sound just like me! When we dropped DD off at college (1200 miles from home) I cried for the first 500 miles going back home. I have to be honest and say it never got really "great" for me...four years was a long time for me. But she met her hubby, they live close now (for the present, anyway), and it was good for her to be away and learning to be a grown up. Lucky you will see her on the weekends! That should help reduce the "shock value" of having her gone! Hang in...it really is a new stage of life, but you learn to enjoy it!

dubgirl said...

I'm sure it will be ok, bet she is having a wonderful time x

Gilly said...

Oh my, that takes me back a few years! I had to drive her 4 hours up the motorway to the shared house she had a room in - it looked dreadful to me!!

It was a little easier as daughter had done a foundation course at the local college for a year, so I had got used to just providing meals and bed!!

Its a difficult and sad time, though!

Rosie said...

Sounds like a very emotional day for all of you and lots of anxiety all round. Love the way you contrast the 'essentials' and how the most practical things on Mum's list weren't anywhere in your daughter's mind:)

andamento said...

Bet she's having a ball (though maybe you don't want to know too much about that!). Must be hard to see your little girl go though. Enjoy the peace and quiet for now.

crafty cat corner said...

Oh how I feel for you. My Grandson has lived with us since he was 14 and so we have had all of the ups and downs of the teenage years to cope with. ( our own three had already left home when he came to live with us ) He has already completed the first year and has now gone back for the second. Lovely and quiet now, no wet towels, no grumps, no coming in late, but for all that I still had tears in my eyes when he went back.

bad penny said...

ooh I feel for you - friends going through this - the "I can't be apart from my boyfriend" bit too.
Jess doesn't intend to go to uni but does intend to do a trans atlantic crossing & look for work,
" Too Young " I mutter.
Hope you fe better - hard for we parents & not just the young ones !

Petit Filoux said...

Oh no!!! Sorry to hear about you feeling so sad about it, but really this is such an exciting time for her - I remember all the excitement and apprehension when going to uni for the first time...!

Lyn said...

I am sure both your children will make you very pround, keep thinking about the 'me time' you will get!
love
Lyn
xxx